so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
