sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
