I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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