my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
