what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
