i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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