I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
