It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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