his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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