so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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