Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
