my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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