vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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