oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
