so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
