Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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