Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
