worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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