This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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