Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize