i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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