You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A+ Viking dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
