is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
