Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
