god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
