David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize