My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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