My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress