Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.