How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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