he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
