She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
