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is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
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