What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm like, not good at living.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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