I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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