A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Please, let me fuck your mom
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
