bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my shit smells like andre
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.