Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
