he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
