So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
