thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
