I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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