from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
