We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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