bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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