i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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