Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
