Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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