didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
