i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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