guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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