she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
send nudes
from the living room?
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