Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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