I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
