ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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