White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
