I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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