I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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