I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
